Stigmas Surrounding Eating Disorders- Something We Should Talk About

About a month ago, it was National Eating Disorder week and over the course of the past month I've been trying to figure out how to put into words how draining, frustrating, and hard it is to talk about them. I believe that talking about eating disorders is one of the most helpful yet controversial topics in today's society. We are constantly being judged for not eating enough or judged for eating too much. It is certainly not easy for me to talk about, but it is something that I’ve found the need to speak on and share some of my experiences. One of the hardest things to hear after knowing that I struggled to eat and didn’t feel hungry is, “What all did you eat today?” and be constantly told, it’s unhealthy and you’ll have no strength. The worst part is that they can’t understand what it’s like to not feel hungry and have no willpower to even try. I had days where I woke up, drank coffee and ended up eating nothing all day. I can’t explain why I didn’t want to eat or why I wasn’t hungry. I know how much harm I am doing to myself and I know that food is fuel for our bodies and is so important to stay healthy. When I scroll through Tik Tok or Instagram and look at these tall, skinny, and perfect models I think to myself, how come I can’t look like that and wish I did. Social media, in my opinion, is the worst at portraying the reality of our lives. No one is perfect, no one should be expected to be.

Learning to love myself and feel comfortable in my own skin is one of the most valuable yet hardest things I've overcome. For a few years I’ve kept most things to myself and now I strongly believe that no one should go through anything alone and I want people who are struggling to know that they aren’t alone and there will always be someone to talk to. Going through something that you don’t realize is taking a toll on your body, until someone mentions something about you looking “too skinny” or “you’re not eating enough,” makes you think, why is this happening to me? My mind told me these four things, repeatedly. I want to be healthy, I work out everyday, I watch my weight, why do I still look like this? I knew that this version of myself was hurting not only my physical but also my mental health. I worry constantly if I look fat in something or if I ate too much at dinner and if other people are judging me. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I want the mirror to just completely shatter or just sit there and cry until I had no more tears left and my head was pounding. I truly believe that absolutely no one should think so hard on themselves but, unfortunately with social media, beauty standards, and mental health standards in our society today, it’s extremely common to see this negative and harmful behavior on ourselves.

We are surrounded with the so-called idea of “perfection,” especially in our society. When in reality no one is 100% perfect, knowing that we were made the way we were made and surrounding myself with people who lift me up, is why I am much happier and healthier than I ever have been. Comparing myself to others when I know I am completely different has changed so much perspective and made me love who I am. No matter how you may dress, what color your hair is, or how you look everyday, you were made the way you were for a reason and there is nothing wrong with that. I’ve realized that to be healthy, you have to eat and you have to try. It can be difficult at times but no one is ever alone. I wanted to talk about this because I've felt it’s a growing issue and while it’s certainly not easy for me to share these things, I found that I need to talk about it and share my experiences. You never know what someone is going through no matter how happy they may seem. This post was and is intended to help and shine a light on these struggles. I hope from reading this, whether you are struggling or not to remember how many people love you. Everything is worth a fight.

Love, Sav